Whether You're a Mother or Whether You're a Brother

Homestead Mama took the morning off today to tend to the kids while I had a date with destiny in the form of another FET. I was lying on the table in the darkened exam room after my handsome doc transferred 3 embryos into my peaceful ute trying to enjoy the new age air pudding music piped in - I really was trying. I ended up coming to the realization I always do in this situation, that if I have to prep for this event like I do for a date then I ought to get the romantic ambiance *I* like. Since I had actually showered, used the perfumed soap and groomed the heck out of all my private parts for this oh-so-sexy transaction (what woman doesn't get all weak in the knees when she hears the words, "I'll need you to scoot down another 2 inches, dear") I want music that actually carries me away. New age muzak is the drivel I make mental to-do lists to. I want to hear Etta James, Otis Redding, Van Morrison. I don't think it is too much to ask to focus on the love in this situation. So I did what any modern woman would do - I dug out my Blackberry and let Bob Dylan on Pandora carry me away.



After my requisite lying-in period of 30 minutes I hopped up, stole a few surgical masks and hats for the kids and drove home. Cruising through town on my way to meet H-Mama and the kids for ice cream cones Stayin' Alive came on the radio. Even the kids know that Mommy loves disco. I boogied through each of the myriad stoplights never looking left or right. I get self conscious if I *know* people are watching me; I'm good if I can assume the trucker waiting next to my car has something better to laugh at than the woman channeling John Travolta in her front seat.



I was met by these faces. Apparently picking mulberries was on the camp docket today. Perspective is a good thing.

Compassionate Mothering

When it rains there are worms visible on the path through the tree line from the yard to the meadow. Pequita is currently terrified of worms. The only way she'll walk through the leafy shaded tunnel is wearing shoes and holding a hand. Her hand of choice? Her younger brother's. He takes his responsibility seriously, loading his pockets with all his cars, gloves, rocks, etc. to keep his hand free for her. Yes, they are sweet-natured kids but I take some credit for this. I've been quietly encouraging empathy, supportive behavior, gentle touch, and respectful treatment between them since they could hold their heads up. It is manifesting now in clear ways, and is gratifying. And awfully endearing.



That being said, the new house rule, as of yesterday, is that if Monito pinches his sister, Pequita can pinch him back. He does not like this one bit. I've spent weeks discussing, meting out gentle punishments for, ignoring, and discouraging this pinching habit of his to absolutely no avail. So we try this way for a bit. I'm just glad he isn't a biter like I was. My mom gave my sister this same advice - "bite her back!" - when she hit the end of her rope with me in the early 1970s. I totally get it now. Oh, how I get it.

Comment answer

I meant to say this in the last post:



Michele asked in the comments if the kids are waking earlier since I'm putting them to bed earlier. The answer is no, when we manage to get them to sleep earlier they sleep right through to their normal wake time. Fab, eh?



One word of warning. We've been experimenting with denying Pequita her nap in an attempt to make it easier to fall asleep. Huge success. But she immediately started having night terrors, half waking and screaming, crying, totally inconsolable. We went through this when she was a baby, so knew to take her outside into the night air, turn on lights, dunk her feet in cold water etc to wake her. My buddy Tif remarked in passing how her friend's son suffered from night terrors when he stopped napping. Uh. Whoops. The next two days I orchestrated naps all around chez Homestead and no more night terrors. It is a clear winner for me to trade an early, easy bedtime in exchange for the whole family not having to get up several times each night as Pequita cries. Let this be a lesson for all of you. It takes a village, clearly.

A Visit From Coxsackie

The kids got to bed really late tonight which is unfortunate because they have their first ever day of camp tomorrow. Or I hope they do - they have been suffering from the Hand, Foot and Mouth virus over the past week; worst is the canker sores on their lips and tongues. These caused much crying when they tried to eat or nurse. Lots of sleep disruption as well, with late-night application of Oragel to quell the screaming.

I haven't heard back from the woman who runs the program a bout them attending, but their doc said they are only viral for 3 days so they should be in the clear.

They are doing really well sleeping together except for an annoying compulsion on Pequita's part to bite her brother once he is drowsy or asleep. This behavior brings much joy to all as you might imagine. She did it again tonight and after calming him down I hauled her out of bed by her foot, assured Monito that I'd be right back and unceremoniously plunked her down on the desk in the office and glared in her eyes. I asked in a dangerously low voice WHY in heavens name does she bite her sleeping brother?!? Her barely audible answer was, "Bubba wake up have FUN". Ahhhh. That clears up that mystery.

Having just redecorated on Friday and Saturday, I put her to bed in our nursery's new version of solitary confinement, the stack of two crib mattresses in the corner that is the 'love seat' upon which to sit and read. It is much harder than the cozy double futon upon which her brother now slumbered alone, something she was quick to point out. I wholeheartedly agreed and commiserated but left her there. She was asleep in 10 minutes.

Now I just have to pack their little bags for camp and try not to cry. Yes, I'll be elated and feel free if it works out and I actually leave them both in the shadow of the yurt and teaching garden tomorrow. BUT. Monito has never been left with anyone ever. Pequita, at least, had playgroup once a week without me for several months last year. I am having pangs, people. I hope to finish prep work for the patio bulldozing tomorrow and maybe dig another row of post holes. As of Tuesday morning I'll be relaxing physically if not mentally while I try not to forcibly expel the 3 recently thawed embryos out of my nether regions by digging up boulders and sinking posts in my garden. How annoying to have to stop mid-fence like this. Back to my knitting I guess. Much more lady like and genteel.

I Wonder What I Could Accomplish In A Whole Day?

My new gym is in my garden. Weight machines are for the faint of heart - posthole digging kicked my butt today! Most folks would put the fence in before planting the garden, but we were running out of growing time so we got the garden in first. On Saturday our amazing friend Una dropped off several locust (rot resistant) logs culled from her own acreage in our driveway - while I napped with the kids right there in the car. Clearly a mother who remembers parenting toddlers, she just left the logs without waking me up.



Today I had some time while H-Mama tended the kids. With Pandora blasting Johnny Cash on my Blackberry in my pocket I got seven posts each sunk 2 feet deep in the field in about two hours. It is hard but very satisfying work. The decision to do it myself instead of the ever-tempting hiring it out is mostly about wanting to make my mark here on our homestead. I want to build a lovely, rustic, magical, fenced garden which feeds our family in years to come but is still delightful to behold, and I want to do it with my own hands.



I have another 35 or so posts to put in for this incarnation of the garden; eventually the fenced area will be five or six times this size and will encompass the orchard and berry beds. For now, I just want to give our veggies a fighting chance against the deer and other varmints.



Today I also managed to transplant two of our red currant bushes into the garden after stripping them of berries. If all goes as planned, their former location will be bulldozed and graded to become our kitchen patio on Wednesday. It is not a great time to move the bushes because they were covered in berries, but I want my French doors a lot more than I want those currants bushes. And now I have enough currants to whip up some jam or a pie.

Operation No Nap: Day 2

Last night was rough. Even with no naps, Monito was up until 8:30 and Pequita til 9:45. Tonight, I tried something that is so unintuitive I didn't believe it would work: I put them to bed earlier. They were both asleep by 7:45. This truly hasn't happened since they were infants. I'm all giddy with the possibilities of success with the tweaks I have planned for tomorrow night!

Ding! Ding! Round 3!

LH test at the REs office proves that I ovulated today; transfer is next Tuesday. Can't help but think that I'll save a ton of money on embryo storage fees if I transfer 3 blasts instead of 2. Possibly the wrong motivation, but that's kind of how detached I am this cycle. It was supposed to be a medicated cycle but, um, I couldn't fully wean my son and daughter. Whoops.



This will be great - by the time I either get two blue lines or bleed I'll be thoroughly on vacation. Maybe the distraction will help - the beach on Martha's Vineyard is always rejuvenating for me. Oops - was that negative thinking? Maybe I should focus on the bright side possibility of having morning sickness while on vacation with my entire extended family in cabins around me with no internet. I didn't have morning sickness last time, and can't remember when it kicks in. Regardless, I won't notice it while riding high on my laurels after beating my family at Euchre, 500, Oh Hell and whatever other card game they dish up. I can't wait! Grandparents, great-aunts and uncles, childless-so-far cousins: it is my goal to hold my kids as little as possible for the duration. I yearn to miss them a little during the days. Nights are taken care of, as Monito just learned what spooning is, and now backs up to me as he falls asleep fitting himself into the space of me and sighing happily. Two at this (st)age is draining, but I LOVE being a mom.

Stick

She didn't cry at all during her blood draw to retest her lead levels. All the practicing, playing doctor and witnessing me get blood drawn a few times a week at the REs office has really paid off.

She is so grown up in some ways.

Moxie

Hmm. Interesting Moxie today. Can't wait to see the responses.

Walnut Grove

With ten acres of mature plantings, we have many spots on the property that are already gorgeous. Walnut Grove is a grouping of black walnut trees on the edge of the western side of the yard that borders the huge meadow that makes up the bulk of our property. The sun sets through the grotto of trees, and the shade is delightful in the sunny afternoons. We chose this place, the portal from the mowed yard to the wild meadow, for our pet cemetery and there are many slabs of slate harvested from our property laying flush to the ground over our beloved dogs, cats and birds that have died. Homestead Mama saved several of them in the freezer for years in order to bury them on land she owned. I found it odd and a bit charming to have to go fetch a bag of frozen peas from the same freezer as her parrots when I first met her.

After a month of rain, the two whole days of sun have really gone to our heads. We spent almost every waking moment outside. Yesterday was spent on errands, yard work and sewing for me. Today the day started with the kids sleeping in until 8:3O, a gift not to be overlooked! We had a lovely morning picnic in the park with friends & other toddlers. Playground, river walking and crayfish discovering, mulberry picking and eating, and lots of laughter. After naps today, the kids and I packed a basket of snacks and hiked across the yard, and I hung up a hammock in Walnut Grove. I had to bone up on my bowline knots but got everything hung safely. The kids and I then frolicked in the new hammock while H-Mama finished mowing the yard. They loved it. The decorative mosquito netting that we've played with inside also was hung under a tree near the hammock, and it is now a perfect little outdoor room; I tied it up so H-Mama could mow underneath it. I love our yard more and more each week. The kids can enjoy toys and activities in each corner of it. They are grooving on each other all the time now, carrying on dialogs, translating for each other, telling each other made up stories that we can barely follow but that they earnestly track, nodding and interjecting when they have something to add. It is a new experience to have them carry on a whole discussion without parental involvement. I find it very poignant, and know that the amazement will fade soon; I want to lock it into my memory.

I really hope we can get a chicken coop up by fall and add some chickens to our family. I am enamored with the idea of the chicken moat that I found linked to on Gardening Without Skills. Love it - protects the chickens from the dogs, and makes use of the design and fence we already have to put in for the garden.

Home Alone

I was [am] a creative woman. I yearn to have time to do any of the many pursuits I used to easily fit into my life, sewing, knitting, stained glass making, gardening, woodworking. I have largely reconciled the fact that I am investing my creative time into my kids, and mostly I am ok with that. I have huge notebooks of ideas and inspirations that I add to daily to refer back to when I have time to invest. It is a difficult balance.

Homestead Mama took the kids out for breakfast Saturday morning. I managed to transform a couple yards of fabric picked out by the kids into special pillow cases for them. Each has a little pocket with a toy tucked into it. They immediately squashed their pillows into the doll strollers and paraded them through the house, which is the equilvalent of high praise. I am not happy with the local fabric choices for Monito, who only wants trucks. I'll like make him another version with construction vehicles in a colorway that I enjoy as soon as I can find the website I saw it at...



I also found a house frame - no idea what one is supposed to put in it - at the thrift store. It was a dark brown stain, and it mounts on the wall. I painted it white, decoupaged some patterned paper on the back of it and gave it to the kids. I showed them their peg people and they quickly set to work trotting the wee folk up and down the stairs and bringing to life many dramas together. I'll mount it on the wall somewhere they need a distraction activity soon. Right now it is on the kitchen island. Huge success!

Barbie!

And so it begins. She selected the one with black hair like her. Even still, $0.50 is too much to pay for body dysmorphia. Now I have to find her some of those un-Barbies with proportional measurements and send this one to the cornfield*.

*Twilight Zone, anyone?

Dry As A Bone

Thanks, Grandma and Grandpa. The new coats and boots are spectacular, and we have gotten more use out of them than we EVER expected to this summer.

Let It Grow

I have been busy getting the teaching garden up and growing in the back forty. The kids are tolerating it with unprecedented aplomb - something about the mix of digging, dirt, snails, and orderly square-foot gardening inspires them. That, and many, many popsicles. If you walk through our yard, you'll encounter a path that invites you through into the meadow. A buddy rototilled a patch of our 8 acre meadow for a garden. I've managed to put in six 4' raised beds planted in the square foot companion gardening tradition featuring a mix of already started plants and seeds mostly donated by our beloved Noona.We'll have beans, peas, pumpkins, basil, peppers, tomatoes, cucumbers, beets, carrots, and salad greens. Or not. They are coming, but with tons of rain, little sun and dogs who run through regularly [I totally haven't gotten up the fence yet] we'll be happy with whatever green things choose to take root. And what a sense of accomplishment! My son is learning to touch baby green tomatoes with ONE FINGER and how to plant seeds. My daughter, the lover of all things orderly, is quite keen to weed all living things out of the beds - I have to monitor her closely or she'll kill all our veggies along with the opportunistic weeds. That's her below saying "WEED!!!"

Behold the glory. Purple garden fairy is a lovely extra, eh?

The kitchen potager in the immediate yard is also coming nicely, filled with herbs, flowers and overflow veggies.

Sandman

Finally, 2 hours after bedtime started. Has anyone noticed how little blogging has been going on? Bedtime has been, um, let's not even talk about it.



Homestead Mama's father is visiting with his wife. They are staying in the guest house, which is their 41' RV parked in our driveway, bump-outs out, awnings up, the whole experience. He can be seen at all hours strolling shirt-less around the property walking his 3 tiny dogs. This morning I had to remove some towels from under my windshield wipers which had apparently been put there to dry. We are going ghetto, my friends. Sadly, they will be driving their guest house elsewhere tomorrow morning and H-Mama will go back to work. It will be nice to get back to normal.



I finished getting the gardens in. I'll post pictures when I can make it all the way into the backyard without getting caught in a thunderstorm. I also have close to 3 gallons of strawberry & rhubarb stewed up to turn into sauce and jam and fruit leather. Busy busy! This is the summer of a pressure canner, so I can put up tomato sauce, home made ketchup - does anyone else think store bought is too sweet? - and I've already got many packets of basil pesto in the freezer, one of my favorite things to break out when snow is on the ground. I need a bigger larder, clearly.



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