Sunday, August 31, 2008


My brother died fifteen years ago this weekend. Hard to believe. Most upsetting is that his presence is indeed fading in some ways as the years go by.

I'm thinking of you, Jay.

State Fair

Free tickets again this year to the state fair. Last year, Monito was three months old and Miss Pequita was terrified of the goats. This year, we rode rides and were largely uninterested in the boring farm animals.
Giraffes, however, were another thing. Feeding them carrots was a blast, and Monito kept asking for MORE! MORE!

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Still Here

I'm trying to get back into the swing of this blogging thing, I promise. Just to show you that we are still existing, here are some pictures of us from recent days.

Pequita and Monito climbing on a lamp post on our town commons. They love to frolic in public.

Pequita has learned to say, "Yoooove!" and swing in for a hug. It melts us all, each and every time. Monito usually reciprocates. Darling.
Hottie Friend and the babes at our recent party/ bonfire.
Pequita has started exerting some preferences in her couture. A few days ago, she selected the following outfit. A Winnie the Pooh singlet, with a pair of blue boy's briefs over it. A polartec winter hat tied under the chin, and her new slippers. She pranced around in this for hours. I was too embarassed to take her out of the house in it. That will change, I am sure.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

A Date, of Sorts

My sister and sis-in-law left this morning with their son.  Homestead Mama and I did yard work, mowed, played with the kids in the sprinkler and taught them how to kick a ball into our new soccer net [sort of].  This is our first night in weeks where we didn't have a trip looming, company due any minute, house guests in our guest bedroom.

Homestead Mama and I went to a party for a couple hours, and when the bonfire was lit, the mosquitoes and the tequila shots came out we departed, carting home two very tired babies.  We are retiring early, with a modest glass of icy Patron tequila each, and will watch the Olympics in the dark with the sound off in our bed while the kids sleep next to us in each of their respective cribs.  The closest thing to a date that we've had in weeks [months, years?]

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Party Like It Is, Well, Today

Go here and make custom party hats.  I did it today with the kids and had to take pictures with my Ooooolllldddd 35 mm non-digital camera.  I'll post them when I get the disc back in the mail in, I don't know, nine weeks?

I am getting excited for fall now, as the nights are warranting long pajamas for the kids and no window fans for H-Mama and I, finally.  I LOVE fall.  Summer used to be my time, when I cared not a whit about skin cancer or covering the less nubile, more comfortable & womanly figure I now sport.  Now, I love getting out my woolens and my denim and corduroy.  Pequita, who earned me a bad rep as a mother last winter for REFUSING to wear a hat, even on negative degree days, is now so very into hats that I am going to let her fondle my yarn stash [oh, embarrassment, it fills two, count them two, cedar footlocker trunks and a few odd boxes] and select her own colors & fibers for some hats.  She loves pompons, which is good, because my no-pattern easy as pie recipe for no fail hats has anywhere from 3 - 6 of them.  Email me for direction if you knit. 

[Mama Fox, I'll be sending a new size appropriate one for The Cutest Redhead In the UK, since I failed so miserably last year to get you a nice welcome-baby present in a timely manner.]

Monday, August 11, 2008

Camera Free Zone

I take pictures of the kids almost every day.  It is how I record their milestones, track our activities, and I show Homestead Mama the story of the kids' lives each night when she gets home so she can be a part of their daily lives even while she is away at work.  My camera is in the shop for about two weeks, and I sorely miss it.  In two days, we've done things that I would certainly have recorded.  Pequita and Monito had their first Japanese food and mango bubble tea.  Monito then threw up his meal onto my foot through the large-bore straw that comes with the bubble tea; I don't think it had as much to do with the food as it did the jostling and jouncing he was receiving from a friend.  Today, I bought a toddler bed for Pequita and found a little bicycle with training wheels that almost fits her at the same store.  She has been zooming around the house on her bike, only allowing Monito to join her if he sits behind her.  She also loves her 'big girl' bed, and wants to play getting in & getting out over and over and over again.  Each time we have to cover her up with a blanket and kiss her and tuck her in; she waits a few seconds before bouncing up signing the 'wake up' sign and giggling madly.  It was nice to read stories to the kids in the actual nursery where the bookshelves are amongst the kid stuff instead of in our bed.  The only babies that have slept in our nursery are visiting guests.  I am really looking forward to shifting our kids to sleeping in there while in the same breath I will sorely miss having Monito's warm little body folded into mine as he sleeps deeply, rolling to meet me if I shift in the night.  I won't miss the other times where I only doze for hours at a time as he kicks, kneads my skin like a kitten, or insists on nursing several times a night.  As always, both kids are in a sleep regression right now.  Pequita was awake last night from 2 am until about 4ish; I can't sleep when that kind of thing is happening. 

Pequita is also very interested in the Olympics.  She wants very much to be the one swimming or doing gymnastics.  She is quite keen on the uneven bars and floor routines, and spends the whole duration of a gymnast's routine gesturing madly at the TV and then at her chest saying, "Mah, mah, mah!" which is her way of saying I want that.  Since she's been watching the games, she is doing more lifting and dangling, hanging off jungle gym equipment until I am sure she will slip and fall.  I caught her doing a modified iron cross on her Learning Tower this morning.  She is an amazing little bundle of muscle.  It will be a treat to see her develop.  This season a gymnastics class seems like a good investment for her, if I can work it out with Monito tagging along.

Our neighbor who watched our pets while we were on vacation brought over blackberry/blueberry pie tonight and frolicked with the naked, snuggly and freshly bathed babies for a while.  I'm off to tuck into a nice big slice.

I Love A Crowd

I am in very good company - me and 97% of the folks who have wonky cells on their cervix do not have actual cancer yet.  This is super good news.  I have the LEEP next week, and then can put off any thoughts about a third child until next spring, as I'll have to grow back about 12mm of my cervix before I can carry a child.

[Insert sigh of relief here.] 

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Holding Steady

Things are ok.  I'm still on edge waiting to hear that I am not in the 1 - 3 % of folks who have bad biopsies.  Stupid me, I watched the Gilda Radner movie based on her autobiography today all about her fight with cancer. 

We're busy getting ready for a visit from my sister's family of three - soon to be 4! She's 9 weeks pregnant - next week.  I feel so behind.  I made a vow once when I was pretty depressed in my twenties and tired all the time.  I vowed to accept the unavoidable as my norm, so that when people asked me how I was doing, I didn't say, "Oh, I'm just tired and way too busy."  Instead, I would think to myself that I was exhausted and hated my job and blah blah blah, and then I'd actually answer with what ELSE was happening, like, "Oh, I baked three pies this past week and had a super walk with my dogs around the reservoir."  Which one is more informative, which answer captures what I want to put forward in the world? 

Jump ahead a decade or so, and here I am.  Instead of complaining about how I am not done with renovations, and can't find time to finish painting our 8" high mopboard and window trim, I could say that I am thrilled to be spending all my waking time with my adorable babes that I waited my whole life to have.  I am rich beyond measure in friends and family, and they love me and visit me whether or not I have mopped and tidied and emptied out my garage of years of accumulated crap.  I have a partner who doesn't really care that my days are spent playing with and teaching our kids about life, fun, sharing and inspiring confidence in the reality that someone is always with them who loves them instead of cleaning, putting away every last toy and making sure dinner is on the table upon her arrival home from a grueling day at work.  

Here is a lovely post I just found on 37 Days.  Enjoy it - it made my brain happy.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008


I just got back from the Gyn; I love my doc.  After a good long look around, he said that whatever is in there is definitely something that is not supposed to be there.  Luckily, with all the action my cooter got with IUIs and IVFs, I barely even felt the procedure today.  I'll know what the biopsy says in about 5 days, and we'll go from there, but will most likely have a LEEP done in the next couple weeks.  He said that at worst case, cervical cancer is one of the easiest things to treat when caught early with a pap, and one of the worst & deadliest to deal with when left alone.  I def fall into the early catch category, thankfully.  It isn't nothing, but most likely it is something very managable.  I wish I could shake the feeling that I am the 1-2% of folks with the bad kind of cells, but we'll see.

I'm off to mow the very tall grass while Homestead Mama is still off picking up our CSA veggies with the babies.  I almost lost Monito in the yard yesterday - we haven't mowed since before vacation!

I'll be making peach and apricot pies tonight with the fruit we get.  Yummy.  Just what I need to cheer me up.  I haven't had time to respond to the commenters, but I really appreciate all the goodwill and good wishes. 

Tuesday, August 5, 2008


I was up all night imagining how H-Mama could function with two babies as a single parent.  Hey, my imagination blooms in the wee hours of the night.  When I called the doc this morning, the nurse didn't even have to look at my chart to go, "Oh, uh, the doctor wants to speak with YOU right away." 

I have high squamous lesions and moderate squamous dysplasia.  Dr. Google says that I likely won't die, but smoke will come out of my cooter in the process of removing the cells.  I have an appointment with my beloved OB/Gyns for tomorrow afternoon.  Clearly they want me in fast too.  Great.

Monday, August 4, 2008


We arrived home at about 4 pm today.  We had thirteen voicemails; six - SIX - were from my usually uncommunicative doctor about the lab results from my appointment.   Odds are extremely high that this means that I had irregular pap smear results.  Super.  Here I come, painful conal biopsy & scary waiting period. 

Here's as good as I get in the positive thinking when it comes to my medical issues: hopefully, we can coordinate with three doctors so that on the same day that I have to get the hysterectomy these results are going to require my orthopedist can also remove the screw in my left heel that is starting to bother me, and the internist can yank my gall bladder in which I seem to have a stone or two, if the worse-than-labor pain I've been having weekly is any indication.  At least if I can get it all done in one big concurrent surgical bonanza I can save on hospital time and multiple anesthesias.

I wonder if I can slip a third child in before the hysterectomy?