Is It April ALREADY?

This post is so clearly brought to you by the sandbox I built and installed last summer.  It is about 30 feet from the new French doors, and has captivated the kids this year.  I may find time to make it prettier shortly, but who really cares?  Now that the weather is warm again, the yard is their amusement park and they can spend hours out there playing on the swing set, hammock, sandbox, deck, and gravel pit.  They paint on the easel in the grass, kick the balls that decorate the yard, and seem to be teaching themselves how to play leap frog with the most hysterical outcome.  Lots of pouncing, squashing, and reconnoitering before the next physical fiasco. 

I'm not sure I'm doing this whole parenting thing right, but the kids? They take up all my time.  Perhaps if I ignored them more, or if they liked to play by themselves more I'd get more done, but most of the time I am attending to them all day and then Homestead Mama comes home after an 11-hour work day about 10 minutes before their bedtime and reads to them, we put them through the 20 minute bed time ritual and then go downstairs, collapse on the couch together, talk about the day or how we really should submit our taxes soon and then watch a DVR show and go to sleep.  It isn't glamorous, but it does work for us.

Here's what I have been doing of late:

:: Tending to a friend's chicks and planning our own coop and flock.  We are set to order a bunch of Sussex, Black Australorps, Barred Plymouth Rock, and Silver Wyandottes.  With a couple Ameracaunas for H-Mama, as she wants the colored eggs. All hens, save for one rooster for Monito.  He wants to name it Big Shot after his favorite character in our current favorite book.

:: Easter! And the requisite lengths of rope in the baskets. What? You didn't get your kids rope for Easter?  Silly readers.  It is the new tape.  It ties in (hardy har har) with the pirate theme we are sporting in this house.  A lovely relaxing hour can be had by a mom sitting and being tied up.

:: Training the boy to not say "You IDIOTS!" to his sister when he gets frustrated.  Thanks a lot, Cruella DeVille.  He only uses it in the plural, because Cruella hurls the insult at the Badden Brothers.  The boy hasn't figured out that his sister is a singular, and this makes is just funny enough that I can't take him seriously.  I take him more seriously when he says "You ASSHOLES!" at his blocks or Playmobil vehicles.  He learned that from, um, Homestead Mama!  Yes!  That's it!  Bad, Homestead Mama.

:: Enjoying the new game my kids have developed, Shoe Fighting.  It happens in the car since we have a micro-minivan instead of the cavernous Odyssey.  When they get a little nutty they have begun pummeling one another.  It is like thumb-wrestling, but with feet, and kicking.  So much fun!  I was parked next to an Odyssey at the grocery store the other day and once I had strapped my kids in I leaned into the wide open side door while the mom-owner was returning her cart to the kiosk. Oh my goodness, we could have comfortably slept our whole family in there.  I stood half in, half out of the vehicle, mouth agape, as I mentally ticked off all the things I could fit in there.  A whole additional child + car seat!  All our vacation packing!  A stroller AND some bikes!  I was ready to sign on to a 13 mpg car right then and there.  Sigh.  Mommy porn, for sure.  I should note that except for not being a cavernous minivan, our Mazda 5 is awesome and I have NO regrets.  If we do have a third kid, though, watch out! 

::Pequita has reached a phase where she mimics a lot. Me, H-Mama, her brother.  This means that much of the time she is either swearing (us) or reduced to almost-three-year-old behavior (her brother).  Good times!  Tantrums, misbehavior, whining, she does it all with a 7-second delay after her brother.  Because is isn't enough to live through the first time!  She is potty trained during the day, and we still diaper her during nap times and night just to catch any accidents.  Today, she opted to stay in her diaper after naps until she pooped in her diaper, something we are working with her brother on.  She stalked in to the room I was in and demanded, "You will change my diaper NOW."  I snickered quietly, and tried to make it a learning experience.  Mistake.  She got increasingly upset and really just wanted the stinky dipe off right away.  I hope the experiment is over, and she won't do it again.  Her stress levels are such that when it happens, it is like a 4-alarm fire. She cannot understand her brother who still resists the change and would prefer to wear his poop around with him for comfort for many long minutes (hours) after the fact.

:: Watching the wildlife return to our yard.  Birds are flocking to the feeders and nesting bags we put out (mesh bags full of yarn & fabric scraps for the birds to use as nesting material.)  Recently a ring-necked pheasant traipsed around our yard for a while, much to our amazement and joy.  The next day, we encountered his body on the road near the house.  Someone had hit him but good with their car.  I stopped the car and let the kids see him.  Pequita remarked that her "heart was very sad".  Mine too, little girl.

::

:: Cooking up a storm.  I'm using up the fruit and meat in our freezer as fast as I can.  Sunday, rhubarb chutney with fresh ham.  Behold the glory of chutney spices!

Recently, several no-knead bread options, Mongolian beef, gingerbread and pies galore.  We have a half side of grass fed beef in the freezer, and are about to pick up a half lamb, and a whole young pig, all non-certified organic and really yummy.  We need to clear out as much as we can before the influx occurs.  On the list of things to tackle soon: Greek yogurt, hot dog buns from scratch, cole slaw (to use up the last of our stored cabbage), and sausage and pate with all our meat.

::Yard work!  Clearing fall brush away, landscaping when I can fit it in, raking, seeding, digging.  We'll have to start mowing this week, which takes about 2 hours at a time since we have 1.5 acres of tended yard.  Plus an extra hour if we mow the path through the meadow. We need a goat, but won't get one until AFTER we have a small barn for it.  Can't wait for the goat's milk, goat cheese, and free brush removal.

:: Double-digging my garden patch.  Last year, my six 4' x 4' raised beds were more to keep the kids and dogs off my planting area.  This year, I'll move them to the edge of the garden and they will become our dedicated strawberry and asparagus beds and I'll leave our regular garden plots on the bare ground.  This patch took about an hour to dig; three more to go this year.  I'll expand more next year; this year, three 4' x 12' beds will have to suffice.

:: Sitting watching the sky at sunset, sunrise, and any time in between.

:: Many cookouts and campfires.  Homestead Mama likes to be active, so will putter in the yard and then burn her gleanings. The kids love to cook their dinner over the campfire.  Up next: foil meals.  Wrapping a potato, some meat and veggies up in a piece of tin foil and setting it in the coals to cook.  

:: Seed starting for the aforementioned garden.  I still have to plan out my layout, companion plantings, and buy starters for whatever doesn't sprout.  This year, we saved our Easter egg shells and started sunflowers and pumpkins in the shells.  

:: Many walks on the property.  The children have A LOT OF ENERGY and need to let off steam in a large area where the creation of another game along the lines of "Shoe Fighting" can be avoided.  We go out into the field and pick weeds, look for birds nesting, track deer, play with our ever-present dogs, and throw things.  It is really fun, always different, and makes me love our investment in 10 acres.

:: Playground and friend play dates.  At least 4 times a week.  The kids are so different from last year.  Pequita was already a master at climbing and physical activities.  This year, she can (be still my heart) make it up to the tiny, bendy branches in the climbing trees before I even know she's gone.  Monito is finally, for the first time, in charge of his body in a way that clearly brings him great satisfaction.  He runs, jumps, climbs, and vaults with reckless abandon and much success, something that has eluded him until now.  He's seen his sister's mastery for a long time and now it is his turn, which is an obvious thrill.  Both kids interact in a whole new way with other little kids.  Pequita has made new friends on the playground, and will hold hands and prance off with sweet little girls to find privacy and giggle and play.  Monito seems to prefer boys he already knows, but the fact that he wants to interact with anyone other than Mommy is huge.  He loves his friends Nate and Desmond because they will rough house with him, and chase, run, sword fight and frolic with him.  He woke from his nap today saying that he dreamed of having a tea party with green balloons and cookies and all his buddies were in attendance and then they played pirates until dark, when they lit a bonfire and cooked things all by themselves.  This is such a huge developmental leap for him - it is both thrilling and heart breaking for me.  My babies are really growing up.  Yay!  (Sob.)

:: Organizing.  Purging.  Yippee!  Homestead Mama made me promise not to ever throw any of her stuff away without asking her first.  Sadly (for her), she works an hour away and I am home with the clutter of a lifetime of collecting.  I have been taking bag after bag of lovely goods to the thrift store and getting my tax deductible receipt for our donation.  In the long run, she'll be happy.  In the short run, she is thrilled at how the house is looking.  Somewhere in between she'll figure out what is happening, but I'm hoping for the best.  I made a play kitchen for the kids using some cube shelves from the local unfinished furniture store and a couple things from Lowes.  They love it, and by winter they'll probably want to be inside long enough to use it a lot.  I still have to cut a door for the 'fridge', but I have a big day of sawing planned for the near future.

:: Pirates!  Did I mention the pirates?  Pequita loves her face paints still, and chooses black and pink.  This equals 'Ballerina Pirate' for her.  Monito chooses more traditional colors, but they are still actively dressing up and whacking. 

:: Pequita is undertaking the effort of reading.  I have been resisting the urge to push them, drill letters, numbers, words.  I have been tortured in a small way by the kids who can write their names already, or write many words by the time they are 3. My mother was an amazing, patient, skilled teacher of Kindergarten through 3rd grade for over 30 years and suggested that I wait, not push them, and let them lead.  All along I've been teaching in the abstract; I read books constantly while tracing words with my finger, spell and sound out words in a general way that they haven't seemed to notice.  Both kids can count up to 30 or more with a minimum of 'five-teens' and can sing the alphabet and recognize a few letters.  Lately, Pequita has been identifying letters, asking how to spell things, and wanting to "read" to herself and her brother.  Yahoo!  I feel like the genie is out of the bottle.  We are hot and heavy into Pequita-led school now, and she loves it.  Her brother is watching and picking things up even as he ignores her.  I'm about  start having a letter per day that we focus on, which should make a proper game out of it all.  Pequita now stops me as I read so that she can 'read' to us; many times her version of the story is much more fun that what was on the page.  In the car there is always a big stack of books between their car seats in back.  She selects a books, asks Monito what page he wants to read and then narrates the pictures to him.  It is a perfectly cooperative experience that they both love.

:: ASL.  Monito asked for Signing Time, a DVD series we haven't seen in a long time.  I started checking them out of the library again and we all hunker down to learn how to sign.  The kids really like it, and practice all the time.  We are all getting better; Monito takes particular interest and pride in his signing.  I can't recommend this series highly enough.  It is wonderfully done, fun to watch, and easy to learn from.  The songs are catchy enough that I don't mind catching myself singing them in the shower.

They're Here!

The babies are here.  Not the chicks I'd have expected; we are waiting until it is warmer and we have a coop-like structure built.  No, the snakes have hatched.  We'll have reptiles sunning themselves on our rocks for weeks now whenever the sun is out.  I keep meaning to turn the ugly garage cinder block foundation into a lovely painted, raised-bed flower bed but can't because I'm not sure the snakes will keep breeding there if I do.  That and a total dearth of extra time and energy, but who's counting.

June Cleaver Moment

Most days the children miss their Mama.  She works at a demanding job she loves that is an hour away; most nights she doesn't get home until 6:30pm and their bedtime is 7pm.  She loves her job and is really good at it.  She stands out in a sea of coworkers who are waiting to retire as she works to help a population of people who don't much want to even help themselves.  Her job allows me to stay home with my kids, something I've always wanted to do.  I only resent it on REALLY tough days, when I'd rather have her with us than helping other people. 

We talk about her a lot during the day.  The kids call her several times a week to cry about an imagined slight, an actual cut, describe a new milestone, tell her they love her, or ask if she'll bring home ice cream.  I facilitate as much contact as possible but do shoulder much of the child rearing. 

My first attempt at teaching them about days of the week ended up with us having 'week days' and 'Mama Days', a.k.a. Friday night and the weekend.  Anticipation of time with Mama is high, and in the most recent developmental spurt, during which our eldest was heartbroken at her Mama spending so much time away from her, we threw the bedtime schedule to the wind and instituted "Mama Friday Nights". Friday is library day and we check out a DVD of a current favorite (right now 101 Dalmatians and The Jungle Book are in heavy rotation) along with our books for the week and a book on CD for Mama to listen to during her commute. By dusk on Friday I have the kids bathed, jammied, fed and ready for loving.  Mama gets home as early as she is able and retires into the family bed with both kids and a sweet treat to watch their movie, snuggle and nurse to their hearts content.  It is the sweetest time for all of them, and I am not remembered until hugs are required right before they are sent to sleep in the nursery 90 minutes later.  

Many weeks by Friday night I am haggard, hair sticking out, nerves frazzled, kids watching Little Bear on TV and me scrabbling to feed us all.  Today, though, was one of those magic times where I was able to present my beloved with a vacuumed and swept home, aired out with frigid-but-fresh air and Nag Champa incense, clean kids, dogs fed, harmony abounding and good food cooling on the counter.  I made a meal from Epicurious, Spicy Beef Cobbler.  Of course, I used our free-range beef, put in black beans, used whole wheat flour and halved the cayenne so the kids would eat it.  HUGE HIT!

So I get to feel like a proper stay-at-home success story.  Lord knows H-Mama doesn't expect it, but I like to feel like a successful professional mom who has it all well in hand.  

Wonderland

The kids have embraced winter. Snow angels, sledding for the first (and second, third, fourth and fifth) time, shoveling snow in a productive and actually helpful way, bushwacking, vaulting off the deck into the drifts of snow, all followed by hot chocolate at home or the cafe. We are having a great winter!

Snow Shoes!

Homestead Mama has a full-blown fantasy of snowshoeing this weekend while my parents are here. She has a set for all of us, and has restrung the bindings on them. The kids have been trooping after her as she stamped down a path around the property begging to join her.

Yesterday I took the kids to EMS to buy them their own toddler-sized showshoes. They had a blast; shortly after arriving, Monito pronounced the store "the best place ever, Mommy!" I believe it had something to do with the kayaks suspended from the ceiling, the vast array of sharp pokey things like ski poles and knives, and the ramp just perfectly sized for toddler-jumping-off in the boot department.

We left the store with a pair of pink and a pair of blue snow shoes rated for 40 - 80 lbs. I was worried the kids would have a hard time with them and they'd have to be returned. Both kids clutched them all the way home in the car, and insisted on going for a little jaunt immediately upon being freed from their car seats. I had no reason to worry - they zipped around like pros in the snow. Homestead Mama is onto something, for sure.


One thing that parenting is giving me is a true sense of amazement at what tiny little people are capable of. I wouldn't have imagined a 2 year old doing half of what Monito does, and Pequita blows my mind on a regular basis.

Wordless Christmas 2009

Here Comes the Sun

I am not a morning person. Children have been a rough adjustment for me, as the little buggers tend to wake up early. Even as one of the luckiest parents I know (Monito sleeps until 7ish, Pequita would sleep in until 9 every morning if I let her) I still struggle with mornings.

I now have a wonderful assist in the process of facing the day. Light from the new doors floods up the stairs and welcomes me each day.

The kids love it too - their inner artists are reveling in the perfect light.
Their attention was split before Christmas on their masterpiece and the contractors outside building the deck. They love Roy; Pequita was having an episode (our new, less judgmental word for tantrum) at one point (well, actually at about 5 points) and she sobbed Ruh! Me want Ruh! (Both my kids are having trouble with the 'oy' dipthong. It is quite endearing.)



And the dogs? They like the new platform that we had built for them. They sit out there surveying all their land, watching for prey and postal carriers.



Life is good.

Les Portes Francais

We have intended to have French Doors in our kitchen for, oh, about a decade. And in the last week we went from a wall cluttered with a bookshelf and napkin storage to a large blank wall


to a reminder of how much we love our insulation* (R-7.5 per inch, folks!)



to a big hole in the wall on a 20 degree day



to French Doors installed



The contractor will be back next week to finish the insulating, trim, handle set installation, etc. Also, they'll be building a deck right outside that is the length of the house and projects 8' out onto the grassy patio we had created this past summer. Already the house is lighter, more open and so lovely. As always, each thing we get done inspires more work, but in the good way.

Yes, that is my sewing machine on the kitchen island. I've been Christmas-ing the only way I know how.

*We used sprayed-in rigid foam insulation. It expands to fill every nook and cranny and dries hard which offers the house a lot of structural integrity as well as insulating the crap out of a 150 year old dwelling. I have NO regrets with this product. Our house has drafts but NONE of them are from the walls. (As pretty as it is, our field stone foundation is something that I'd get redone if we win the lottery.)

Warmth

I was quite taken with this article. Maybe my wild kids are just COLD, and when they are warmed up they will sit all day peacefully reading books and tracing their hands! The article is definitely on the edge of Waldorf-y preaching, but the concepts are sensible. We keep our house at a toasty 65 degrees day and night, so are big into the layering concept. Except for Pequita who has up to seven wardrobe changes a day, many of which are from one filmy fairy princess dress to another. It is like living with Celine Dion except I am the lackey who trails after the diva picking up the discarded clothes. Next thing I'll be blogging about will be Pequita's request for an all-white nursery with white flowers and 27 new bottles of mineral water imported from France at all times.

I just bought a set of silk long johns for us all, and will have a go at making us woolen ones with my serger, as the cost of outfitting pottty training kids in woolens ($40 per shirt? $50 per pair pants? are they kidding?) is a smidge prohibitive for kids who grow a size every few months.

Anyone who has merino wool or cashmere sweaters with holes, stains, shrunken, or that they just don't like is invited to send them on to me for repurposing. I can offer you a barter - have you seen my felted balls?

Oh Tannenbaum

Homestead Mama and I always pick a day that it is snowing to go fetch our Christmas tree. This has meant that we've cut it close to the actual holiday some years as we are waiting for Mother Nature to provide the atmosphere necessary for proper festive tree selection. Only one Christmas during our nine years together have we had non-snow; it was a short selection process in the pouring rain. We used a lot of BIG ornaments on the side that only had a few branches.

We revel in the quiet sound of snow falling on the hike in. It is usually so pleasant that we hike further into the snowy meadow than is necessary just to prolong the experience. We embrace the ritual, the peace and quiet, the hauling of bulky down-jacketed 40 lb kids in Ergo carriers on our backs. It is a pleasant bonus that we can get a 7' tree for $20 when down the road a couple miles you can pay $40 for the same tree and get a smog-filled tractor ride down a crowded field to pick your Christmas tree out of a pile of pre-cut trees, all the while assaulted by Happy! Holiday! Music! spewing from speaker wired into the fields.


We always look for a few perfect trees, and every year this requires some discussion. I tend towards a Charlie Brown sparseness, the better to showcase a select few precious ornaments. Homestead Mama prefers a tree so dense that light doesn't show through the branches, and likes to pile on every ornament she has ever bought. Once we've found two or three that ride the line of compromise, we check for bird nests. Did you know that it is good luck for the coming year if your Christmas tree has a bird's nest in it? With a little effort, we get lucky almost every year. Not so this year in our perfect trees; we found a nest in a neighboring tree that was too big by at least 10 feet and plucked it out, decided that would bring at least a little luck for 2010. We got the old man who owns the tree farm to snap our photo again like we do every year. In jockeying the kids, the camera, the saw and my mittens I set down our nest and left it at the tree farm. I almost sent Homestead Mama back for it - its only 5 miles away. In the end, she set the tree up in the stand while I monitored the kids in the bathtub. When we came out, H-Mama was beaming and asked us to look into a particularly dense section of the tree, low down near the base.


Lo and behold, there was a perfect, tiny little nest. It must have been extremely well-built, as we were not at all gentle in the cutting, dragging, loading and unloading of the presumed nest-less tree. I guess we are due for a little luck next year after all.

90 Minutes

How did you spend the first 90 of your day?

I got to sleep in a bit today - until 9:10! This is no small favor, as anyone who knows me is aware how very much of a night person I am. Homestead Mama frequently takes the early shift with the kids which usually means that she gets them in dry diapers/ panties and kisses me goodbye, but today she ended up going in to work a little late so she could get the garbage out, feed the dogs, and tidy up a bit since she knew I stayed up until after midnight painting people and watching bad TV. The kids helped her with all these tasks, so it took her almost 2 hours. Having missed the early playgroup meet-ups by getting up so late, I embraced the staying home concept. The kids love to meet and play with their friends; they also love to have Mommy on the living room floor in a pig pile, leading the marching band, or getting down the good paints from the top shelf. What everyone says about how beneficial it is when you are living in the moment, following your kids lead, giving them your complete and utter attention? Very true. Hard to maintain, but that's what meditation is for.

We started out explaining what Pequita had painted on her brother's face while Mommy was in the bathroom (a lion). She paints their faces every day at least once. Yesterday she accompanied me on all our errands with a huge black and purple blotch on her cheek looking for all the world as though I had been beating some compliance into her. She proudly told anyone who asked that it was the Evil Queen from Snow White. A little nonrepresentational, but she got the colors right.

I was treated to a ballet recital by the ballerina in our house while I brushed my teeth. She then taught her brother how to twirl and plie, which is going to be the impetus I needed to order myself a new charging cord for my video camera. My kids dancing together is something that I would love to watch on DVD as an old lady sitting in my quiet house when the kids are grown.

We followed that by playing trumpet on our left over cooked shell noodles from last night. (The stuffed shells with organic pork meat sauce was a HUGE hit with all of us. A good thing, since I made two gigantic pans.)Yankee Doodle Dandy, tooted deep with a whole noodle and ever-shriller as the noodles mysteriously got shorter and shorter in the kids mouths. Pequita bounced on her riding bouncy ball in time to the song. Then I got them dressed while singing This Old Man. The kids got to alternate picking the number verse I sang; Pequita worked her way through 1 - 10, but Monito only ever chose 2. Each time I sang, "He played knick knack on his shoe" there was much cracking up. I think he likes the way showing me 2 feels in his fingers - he uses his index and thumb (a.k.a. Pointer and Thumbkins in our house.)


They spotted the dice jar on a shelf and we spent 20 minutes playing with that. Every time I go to the thrift store, consignment store, or salvation army I buy up all the dice games I can. Boggle is a great one. I then repurpose the boxes and other playing bits elsewhere in our lives and toss the dice into a big jar. We make up our own games, spell our names and whatever words the kids want, and then sort them back into the jar by color, size, letter, whatever. It always changes, which keeps it fun for all of us. I also have a massive jar of Scrabble tiles for the same purpose. The nice stiff game boards make great dance floors or car ramps when Mod Podged with pretty paper or painted over by toddlers.


I didn't post the picture with their names spelled out even though it was the better photo. For now, I am going to keep the anonymity up on the blog. It is annoying to have to write fake names, but as a lesbian family with cute kids in a fairly identifiable town, I just feel safer. I'm actually working on another blog idea, one that would end up being more craft oriented and less of a family/ baby book and would use our real names. Because I need MORE time on my computer. Sigh.

First Frost? Time for Jack O'Lanterns

Carving pumpkins has taken on a new element this year: power tools.

Monito tried using his toy chainsaw, but it wasn't cutting it. I got out the drill and largest bits and they each drilled many holes in the little pumpkins. They started out as jack o'lanterns, became jack o'lanterns with chicken pox and then became mob hit jack o'lanterns riddled with drill holes. The poor tall one, sporting the single hole to the forehead I fondly think of as execution jack o'lantern. SO MUCH FUN.

Once a few were carved up, we had our traditional popcorn feast while we admire the glowing faces. It was a little short this year due to icy wind storm weather, so we quickly sang the pumpkins on a fence song and zipped inside to watch some Snow White songs on YouTube before bed. After one night of having to explain about how the Evil Queen is not real, we now stick to dwarfs and the Betty Boop-like Snow White only. Hi ho!