Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Its All Coming Back to Me Now

I am remembering WHY no one talks about trying to get pregnant. It is awful when it fails, and how many times, really, DO you want to hear about someone's misery, failure and sad-sack feelings?

My beta from this morning is effing UP to 299. So now its an ectopic, which gels with the tiny stabbing pain in my left lower ute area that started last night. The usual treatment for this is a dose or two of the chemotherapy drug methotrexate. I cannot get over the irony of the discussion I had with Homestead Mama just this morning about not wanting to buy her a bottle of stain remover to get popsicle stains out of Pequita's dress, "too many nasty chemicals" I said. "I'll just embroider over it so we don't pollute our house with cleanser." I wonder how many bottles of Shout I'd have to drink to equal a couple doses of methotrexate?
I'd rather have surgery, but with the low hCg levels it could be a 'microscopic' embryo growing and hard to see with the naked eye. I'm going back to consult with the doc tomorrow. You can bet your boopy that I'll be insisting they give me the wanding of the century, the most thorough ultrasonic pillaging of my innards they've ever done before I take that drug. If they can identify where the little bugger is, I'm voting hands down for laproscopic removal. Surgery chemicals are out of my system in 6 hours, versus one to three MONTHS with Methotrexate.

Meanwhile I'm on alert with the cramps. If they get bad enough I'm to take myself to the ER. Sadly, my pain tolerance is so high that when my appendix went bad I walked around for 4 days with a heating pad on my belly complaining of constipation before realizing I had a raging fever and needed immediate removal. Hard to say for me what is 'too much pain'. One thing that does keep getting hit home is that if my body can finagle a way to require surgery, it will. However, after 25 general anesthesias, I also know that I can survive it.

I'll likely stop blogging about family building for a while. Like, until I'm successfully 16 weeks along and have passed an amnio.


Becca said...

How terribly disappointing. I am really sorry. Looking forward to your 16 week post!

Alison Williams said...

Simply horrid. Thinking of you.

Deborah said...

I'm sorry. This totally sucks big time. I hope for a quick resolution, at least.