For those of you who didn't live through the conception of the first two, I believe much of it is in past posts. It took us about 4 years and the cost of an ivy league college education to get Pequita. H-mama had some distinct infertility issues, and IVF was the only way for her to conceive. I ended up on the IVF train because we felt very strongly that our kids share a donor - ours is anonymous - and be related by blood since we wanted to use eggs from each of us. Midway through H-Mama's string of unfortunate infertility I started to try to get pregnant the old fashioned way (for lesbians, this means spending $500-700 a month on sperm and having a nurse escort the swimmers past my cervix with a sterile catheter.) We quickly realized our anonymous donor had stopped donating and someone had bought up almost 40 vials of sperm in a couple months, leaving only a few remaining. IVF has significantly better success rates than the old fashioned way, so the decision was simple (which is different than easy).
Once I started IVF it took 3 cycles for me to succeed with Monito. The first live cycle we transferred 3 embryos and it was a BFN (big fat negative). The second live cycle (3 transferred) resulted in two implanted embryos (yay) that I miscarried at 9 weeks (boo). Their due date was 3 months after Pequita's (who we still didn't think would be viable (crush our souls with miscarriage 4 times, shame on you. Crush our souls 5 times, shame on us.). Think/ judge what you want, the timing might have been challenging but we were pretty excited. Third live cycle (3 transferred) was the charm, producing Monito. So from the 3 cycles I did I banked 9 frozen 5-day blasts in pretty good shape and from my 37 year old ovaries. We also have 3 vials of frozen sperm left. Even with me turning 40 shortly (ahem) that should be enough for a good go at another kid who is related by blood to the existing two. IF we agree to go ahead and try. I must say that as I study and witness all the trauma and shell shock my friends and sister suffer through as they manage a toddler and an infant, I am looking hard for reasons not to have a third. I remain undaunted. I can DO hard. I can survive with little sleep. I can see the gifts that are my children even as I plop my son down in time out for biting his sister. Whatever. I suppose it might be obvious which side of the discussion I fall on.
Pardon the following slight non sequitor, but I can't help worry about possible multiples whenever considering fertility tx (treatments):
I must say, after watching closely the interviews with the octuplet mom, I have a hard time not judging her for only two decisions: not being willing to selectively reduce her HOM (high order multiples) for the health of her babies and her existing family, and for supremely poor judgment in selecting the surgeon who performed her lip implants. (I don't accept her line about not having had surgery. I grew many things while pregnant aside from a baby- bigger hips, skin tags, a wart (?) And an unhealthy love for Klondike bars, but not a new set of lips.)