Product Review: Conceiv*ex Conc*ption Kit

(For an actual product review, usually I’d use the product in question. The press is so enticing for this new product, though, that I couldn’t help bringing it to your attention.)

Jumping right on the bandwagon, they are. Good old FDA. The brand new Conceiv*x Conception Kit contains everything you need for a fancy ICI (intracervical insemination) attempt. Yay! Let’s actually HELP couples get pregnant. Except that the kit (which contains no medicines or needles) will require a prescription. If someone can figure out what is so risky that you’d need monitoring by a doctor for this, I’d be happy to hear about it.

This kit is pretty hetero-specific, focusing on intercourse as the key (fitting right into Bush’s religious-right choke-hold on the FDA.) The conception kit system contains 3 semen collectors, 3 samples of a ‘sperm-friendly intimate moisturizer’ (amusing named Pre-seedex) and 3 Conception Caps, for a 3-month supply. Ah, remember the good old days of thinking it actually *would* happen on the first try, or that you could pick the zodiac sign of your choice for your kid? I guess they have to sound optimistic, after all, the folks who are using this product probably are just starting out.

The website for the kit has a dictionary for people new to the trying-to-conceive lifestyle. The first entry?

AF (Aunt Flo)-This is a slang description for your menstrual flow. Normally on days one through five the lining of the uterus breaks down and passes through the vagina.

Good for them, trying to level the playing field and bring everybody up to speed.

Maybe this is the start of caring attempts by the FDA to do the right thing by people experiencing infertility. We’ll see. My cynical side is assuming that it is just a way to exert control over who is choosing to get pregnant, or a way for the medical professionals to collect insurance fees & payments for the only method of assisted fertility that was still free (previously known as the ‘turkey baster method’)? This drives me a little crazy.