OHMYGOD my child doesn't cry herself to sleep, she cries herself into a horrid fit of anger. My psyche may not be able to handle this. She's up there now screaming and jumping up and down in her crib, I'm up there every 5 minutes to comfort her - yeah right - and then I come down to comfort & nurse Monito, who, after his sister took 65 minutes to stop playing and figure out that she was trapped, is VERY AWAKE and wanting attention.
In between comfort visits (=during a scream fest) I called Homestead Mama at work to remind her to leave soon (early day, and she's covering for me while I go to a meeting at work) and the gem she has for me? "I hope you aren't ruining the crib for Pequita so she screams every time I put her in there." Not helpful. It feels like I haven't had ONE MINUTE of both babies sleeping at the same time for weeks, with no end in sight. Not frigging helpful.
There is absolutely NOTHING in the world like the sound of your own child screaming and unhappy to tear apart your heart, relationship, happy home and any scrap of well being you still possessed.
I'm off for another visit to the unhappy baby upstairs, leaving Monito downstairs, now crying too.
I'll be going to the store this evening to buy blackout window shades in hopes of de-stimulating the bedroom.
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This part is so hard! It was like someone was ripping out my insides. What is it about the sound of your own kid crying that is so hard to ignore? Good luck, and be strong... eventually it will get better and then naps are no problem. (Most of the time)
Thanks, Becca. It wouldn't be nearly so hard if I felt that H-mama and I were on the same team/track, but we haven't had time to reconoiter at all. I'll do my reading, keep breathing, keep reminding myself that Pequita won't be damaged forever by this process (neither will I) and that it will get better. Sigh. I need a drink and a long hug, in that order.
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