Wednesday, November 12, 2008


I'm still here. My days are jam packed, between constructive house tidying and reorganizing, canning and baking, ongoing renovations, dealing with constant strong chronic pain in my bum ankle and getting several inches of surgical records tranferred to a local new orthopedic surgeon. The knowledge that I need a third ankle fusion depresses me and activates my surgical PTSD, making me want to stay in bed all the time.

This is in addition to keeping the babes alive, fed, happy, clean, and making sure they get to playgroup on Mon, hosting playgroup at the homestead on Wednesdays. And they are both cutting molars right now, so nursing incessantly and not sleeping very well. Yawn.

H-Mama has a huge exam in early Dec to get certified to enable her to get a *much* deserved promotion and she can't find time to study. She is a little overwhelmed, as I guess I am. We aren't getting along as smoothly as usual, and had a lovely fight first thing yesterday about something stupid, but based on problematic underlying communication issues. It feels so damned impossible to make headway on our few relationship issues that linger after 8.5 years together with our breakneck speedy lives. Being busy is but one impediment, though; my style is to actively process everything quickly and with vigor right away while it is fresh. H-Mama's style is to stew about things for days before bringing it up, or not talk at all. Period. And never the twain shall meet. Sigh. To her credit, she goes to therapy with me and alone to keep working on things. And by some blessed good luck, we have a pretty good therapist who had 5 kids of her own, gets the quagmire we live in, and therefore is willing to make house calls after the kids go to sleep. So yesterday we fought in the morning, did our own thing for a couple hours, made up mid-morning, and at 9:30 pm were settling into our living room with our therapist and tea and cookies for some productive work. See - even our emotional loves are breakneck.

Clearly, both kids napped today at the same time. Pequita just awoke in a storm of snot and coughing, though, so I'll have to sign off. (I love having internet on my phone; if I didn't, you all would never be reading this, as I wouldn't have time to write it.)

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

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