Conceiving Monito

One year ago yesterday, September 26th, I was lying on an operating table in my RE's office (IVF doc, for those of you who are blissfully ignorant) getting pregnant with Monito. Below are the notes I made in the Excel spreadsheet I kept of my medical activity. (Yes, yes, I know. Closer to obsessive than organized. But we had a lot going on - Homestead Mama was 8 months pregnant, for example - and I don't like to relinquish control of important things. I had one for Homestead Mama, too, one worksheet for each month's activity. Big file. )

"9/26/06. Transfer day. 8 of 10 embryos retrieved were excellent. Xferred 3 best ones. Froze 5, tossed 2."

Sounds a bit cavalier in the re-reading, but keep in mind we had been trying to conceive in one way or another for four years and the magic had kind of gone out of the process. Granted, conceiving a baby is not about sex for lesbians, it is always about a process apart from that. Sure, it is intimate, important, and ends up being a physical process, but all the heavy mindf*ck that infertile straight couples have to deal with, the performance anxiety, the sex on the clock, etc. is something that we are not burdened with. Our intimacy might get totally messed up all on its own because of the stress, physical failures, whatever, but sex doesn't become a command performance. Getting pregnant doesn't start with a nice dinner and candlelight, it starts by selecting a cryobank and reviewing hundreds of donor profiles. Oh, and it involves a credit card or three.

Anyway, I was still not believing that H-Mama would actually deliver a live baby. I was convinced I would miscarry again. And looky! We got this: Looks like he's saying, "Hey, pretty mama. Come here often?" doesn't it? He is so tall that now that he is just strong enough to be comfortable holding his own (large) head up for long enough to enjoy the neglectosaucer he already needs to be bumped up to the next setting.